honestly

when the rain is blowin' in your face
and the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love

when the evening shadows and the stars appear
and there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
to make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
but I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawlin' down the avenue
no, there's nothin' that I wouldn't do
to make you feel my love

the storms are raging on the rollin' sea
and on the highway of regrets
the winds of change are blowing wild and free
you ain't seen nothin' like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
there's nothing that I would not do
go to the ends of the Earth for you
to make you feel my love

looping

i've done it again

i fell for you

the timidness in your smile

the hands in the pocket

your ease of learning

i remember your voice

when you asked if i wanted to be yours

i've done it again

i fell for you

and the more i feel, the more i fall

and the more i fall, the more i learn

that it's with you i want to grow old with

all I really want

Enough about me, let's talk about you for a minute
Enough about you, let's talk about life for a while

realism

I don't want to be the glue that holds your pieces together
I don't want to be your idol
See this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights

A trip to Japan and the meanings behind it

I write this from Japan, the land of lovely and caring people, who can also be submissive and hierarchy-obsessed. A land that mixes new and old, full of flashing lights and traditional buildings.

This trip means a lot to me for a couple of reasons, which I shall explain here.

For those who don't know, I am Brazilian born and bred. My father's family is of Japanese origin, hence my slight Asian looks. I have also been naturalised British after living in England for almost 7 years - so quite a mix.

On the 1st April 2014, my Japanese grandmother lost her battle against Parkinson's disease at age 91. She had a good life and, whilst the selfish part of me wishes she was still with us, my rational self knows she was physically and mentally suffering.

My grandma (or "batiyan" as we call it in Japanese) taught me many different lessons, from how to respect others to the importance of showing gratitude. She also tried her best to pass on the Japanese culture she'd had on to her children and grandchildren and I think she succeeded.

Coming to Japan, just over a year after my grandma's passing, has helped me explore more of this culture which I somewhat refused to absorb over the years. After touring around for a bit, I now understand much better why my grandma acted the way she did in certain situations. I can also say a lot of the trip has reminded me of happy times we had together, especially moments from my childhood - from senbei eating to origami making, which I was terrible at! A walk full of learning and joy down memory lane.

In addition to my family memories, visiting Japan marks a special milestone for my relationship with Jamie. We always spoke about how we wanted to visit Japan together, but it was always so expensive - after finally settling in our new place (not so new anymore!) and changing jobs, we finally managed to make the dream come true. We shall now figure out what's next (aside of Australia, which is already on the cards for next year).

TTS

Be true or be gone
You’re only fooling yourself
Open hand or not
You are holding out
But there is no light that you can’t live in
Tear it apart
Your old confession made in the dark
Now every hour, change of heart
You’re running away, but the shadow is yours

canned only

Monday morning laundry or coffee on the garden wall
You’re good 'cause you’re never boring
You should probably call me more

all I wanna say is...

we either think that we're invincible or that we are invisible when realistically we're somewhere in between. we all think that we're nobody, but everybody is somebody else's somebody.

don't ask me what I really mean - I am just a reflection of what you really wanna see, so take you want from me.

My life is a setting sun

I won't give up chasing love, son
Here I go, look at me run

ärlighet

Världen är så stor min bror
Den är så skrämmande stor
När det blir för tungt, min bror
Lägger du tyngden på mig då?

Speaketh the truth

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

Os últimos 360 dias

Esse ano foi memorável.

Foram tantas coisas, riscos, mudanças. Despedi-me de minha avó, mas com ela muito aprendi e levo comigo todas aquelas lições. Terminei meu curso de bacharelado com grande orgulho, viajei mais, voltei ao taekwondo, troquei de emprego, finalmente aprendi o que me motiva e decidi parte do caminho que quero traçar nos próximos anos. Consegui deixar para trás aquilo que há tempos me trazia angústia. Alívio.

Eu aprendi e muito sobre mim, sobre aqueles ao meu redor. Longe de ser o suficiente.

The world is my oyster.

Sigo ansiosa por 2015.

A goddamn smile

Will you tell yourself you all must be what you'll be?
Who's to say who is who and what is what if you simply don't agree?
Now, time will come to claim you and it will have its way
Don't make mistakes and don't regret
Don't waste the time that is left
And then do it all with a goddamn smile

Dance, little liar

I’m a holy scriptwriter. I stand behind the curtain. I will know the words when the world stands to attention, when my speech bends to my will, when I know the precise position I’m to fill. I’m the one who’ll know: holy, hidden and all for show. I stand over the choir and redeem the difference. I try though sometimes I can only feign forgiveness: holy, for hire and not for sale. I am easily undone but by then, I’m gone. I’m a lender of lighters, a hangover survivor. I’m a terrible liar. In the shadow of thin-walled, whitewashed stone fabric, in the city of pre-worn, torn, pre-bought denim. I am the hand that grasps and longs and the one left suspended when all is withdrawn. I’m the crack in the altar, a stone statue waxed over. I’m a kid at the opera. I’m a terrible liar.

I'd rather be broken than empty

Time, time is a fickle thing
Let's see what it can bring
I cannot leave you behind
Time, time's running out
My hands, oh give me your hands
I cannot leave you behind

We are going to get out of here
Run from all the fears

What if?

What if our hard work ends in despair?
What if the road won't take me there?
What if to love and be loved's not enough?
What if I fall and can't bear to get up?
Oh, I wish, for once, we could stay gold

Hearts of Gold

all of my dreams, they fall and form a bridge
of memories where I can get back
to you

In all honesty

so honey, now don't be mad
time has told me it can't be that bad
and if it is, well I'll be goddamned
but I'll stick around
I'll be your master defender

public knowledge

you've spent a year staring into a mirror
another one trying to figure out what you saw
paid so much attention to what you're not
you have no idea who you are
but heaven knows that you're lying

the road

you know, it's a dark, twisted road we are on
and we are to walk it alone
I could drive out to the ocean and just stare in awe
I could walk across the beaches and sleep under the stars