the road

you know, it's a dark, twisted road we are on
and we are to walk it alone
I could drive out to the ocean and just stare in awe
I could walk across the beaches and sleep under the stars

a long time ago

but you couldn't wait
I couldn't promise you anything
if it was all a mistake
then I guess we're both to blame
I could've been so many things
but it would never be enough for you
I was the one you counted on
but I was never the one for you
now I know
I lost you a long time ago

there's hope, there's a silver lining

I don't want to wait anymore, I'm tired of looking for answers
Take me some place where there's music and there's laughter
I don't know if I'm scared of dying, but I'm scared of living too fast, too slow
Regret, remorse, hold on, oh no, I've got to go
There’s no starting over, no new beginnings, time races on
And you've just gotta keep on keeping on
Gotta keep on going, looking straight out on the road
Can't worry 'bout what's behind you or what's coming for you further up the road
I try not to hold on to what is gone, I try to do right what is wrong
I try to keep on keeping on
Yeah I just keep on keeping on
I hear a voice calling, calling out for me
These shackles I've made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won't take the easy road
I've woken up in a hotel room, my worries as big as the moon
Having no idea who or what or where I am
Something good comes with the bad
A song's never just sad
There's hope, there's a silver lining

:)

el principio

yo seguiré adelante
atravesando miedos
sabe Dios que nunca es tarde
para volver a empezar

reciprocated

how much pain has cracked your soul?
how much love would make you whole?
you're my guiding lightning strike

I can't find the words to say, they're overdue
I've travelled half the world to say I belong to you

tunnel

and in the backyard
into the night
we walk through fire
my love is your flashlight

Probabilística

Talvez eu deva ser forte,
Pedir ao mar por mais sorte
E aprender a navegar.

boolean sanity = false

Maybe I like this roller coaster
Maybe it keeps me high
Maybe the speed it brings me closer
I could sparkle up your eye

predictability

if you're looking for the moon, is it ever when it's new?

entrelinhas

A-N-I-M-A-L
Makes my head pirouette
More than I would be willing to confess
D-A-N-G-E-R-O-U-S

2014

"Don't waste your time or time will waste you"

Um pouco mais pessoal e o avante

Alguém ainda lê isso aqui? Se não, sem problemas - guardo as palavras para a posteridade!

Esse ano já está quase no fim e, como sempre, eu começo mais ou menos nesse período a pensar nos planos para o ano próximo. Ah! Também começo a refletir como foi o ano que está para acabar e tudo mais.

Pra mim é bem simples: se existem objetivos a curto ou longo prazo, planos precisam ser feitos para atingí-los. Além do mais, deve-se ser pró-ativo, ao invés de esperar as coisas caírem do céu. Se os objetivos ou planos não são realistas, é praticamente impossível conseguir o que deseja - e, pra mim, não ser realista seria o início de uma vida com frustrações.

Desde que comecei a estudar algo na área de ciências exatas, passei a simplificar pensamentos e objetivos. Foi como se meus planos agora fossem mais mecânicos, mais racionais, mais possíveis e mais simples.

Já com o trabalho, aprendi na prática que as coisas dão errado, independentemente de quanto se planeja. Não importa o quão detalhista forem os planos, algo provavelmente vai acabar diferente ou errado. Com isso, o que eu sempre achei (e continuo achando) começou a se concretizar: se sentir bem constantemente é saber lidar com cenários de quando as coisas não vão como o planejado. Digo, talvez seja loucura não se ter pelo menos um plano B, C ou D - mas tudo é sempre variável e gastar tempo demais com válvulas de escape pode ser mais desgastante que arranjar uma solução quando algo realmente ocorre.

Em 2013, em geral, eu aprendi a dar menos valor ao trabalho e mais valor ao estudo. Em maio/junho eu termino o meu bacharelado (enfim) e tenho planos pra emendar um mestrado. Continuei aprendendo que ter responsabilidades é mesmo inversavemente proporcional a ter tempo livre. Continuei aprendendo que amar é a minha base e que sou muito feliz por esse sentimento ser recíproco.

Em 2013, eu tive mais paciência, eu aprendi mais e entendi mais. Porém, eu trabalhei mais, me stressei mais e descansei menos.

O que eu quero pra 2014 exatamente eu ainda não sei, mas conseguir raciocinar o que aconteceu nesse ano é o primeiro passo pra poder pensar o que eu quero em futuro próximo ou a longo prazo.

Fireside

I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found
Has it gone for good?
Or is it coming back around?
Isn't it hard to make up your mind
when you're losing and your fuse is fireside?

In the night

Out of all these stars up high, one guided me to you
Out of all these places in the world, I ended up in here with you

How lucky am I?

Thou wilt steal my heart, I knew from the start
Those nights I was awake, holding onto my heart
Thinking and dreaming
Hoping and wishing

How could I not be in love with thee?

Before thee, Love was something for the books
Before thee, Marriage was something for the old
Before thee, Happiness was nonexistent

How could I not believe in fate?

No matter how far I go
How deep I see
How much I try

It is easier to explain the chemistry of a soufflé
Than to explain what I feel for you

Run

If I ever found the cause of this sadness, I know it would be
Impossible to keep the vision against all of me
When I took myself far and away from everyone that I knew
If you're looking for the moon, is it ever when it's new?

When the iron is cold and the binding holds fast on to you
When I listen for the footsteps that nearly knock me
Down in the room "The tower is gone." you say, but how well can you really see?

Oh you'll find it by and by
In a heartbeat you'll be free and you will run
Keep running back to me

Over both of our heads you've been searching
To find a way soon
But there's nothing that I want more than a reason
To be following you

When you bring out the matches just remember that I own them all too
If a lie won't go too deep, in a heartbeat you'll be free
And you will run
Keep running back to me

Tunnel

I'm looking for a place to start, but everything feels so different now
Just grab a hold of my hand, I will lead you through this wonderland
Water up to my knees, but sharks are swimming in the sea
Just follow my yellow light and ignore all those big warning signs

Somewhere deep in the dark a howling beast hears us talk
I dare you to close your eyes and see all the colors in disguise
Running into the night, the earth is shaking and I see a light
The light is blinding my eyes as the soft walls eat us alive...

Together

I heard them calling in the distance
So I packed my things and ran
Far away from all the trouble
I had caused with my two hands
Alone we travelled on with nothing but a shadow
We fled, far away

Hold your horses now
(Sleep until the sun goes down)
Through the woods we ran
(Deep into the mountain sound)
Hold your horses now
(Sleep until the sun goes down)
Through the woods we ran

Some had scars and some had scratches
It made me wonder about their past
And as I looked around I began to notice
That we were nothing like the rest...

Do not

Here we come to a turning of the season
Witness to the arc towards the sun
A neighbour's blessed burden within reason
Becomes a burden borne of all and one
And nobody, nobody knows
Let the yoke fall from our shoulders
Don't carry it all, don't carry it all
We are all our hands and holders
Beneath this bold and brilliant sun
And this I swear to all

I guess so

But don't you come here and say I didn't warn you
About the way your world can alter
And oh how you try to command it all still
Every single time it all shifts one way or the other
And I'm a goddamn coward, but then again so are you

Not at all

And I'm not looking for a reason, I'm looking for truth But if I find it meanwhile it could be of good use, but There is no use in blaming yourself It won't lead to anything